99 Best Irony Quotes

The funny thing is, on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook. – Andy Dufresne

Dear Warden, you were right. Salvation lay within. – Andy Dufresne (in his note)

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. – Rick Blaine

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. – Rick Blaine

I am shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here! – Captain Renault

Your winnings, sir. – Croupier

With the whole world crumbling, we pick this time to fall in love. – Rick Blaine

Someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family. – Skyler White

Don't stop believing. – Journey (song motif)

Let justice be done, though the heavens fall. – Howard Hamlin

Congratulations! – Multiple Characters

He was shaken by the overwhelming revelation that the headlong race between his misfortunes and his dreams was at that moment reaching the finish line. The rest was darkness. 'Damn it,' he sighed. 'How can a person stand so much glory!'

We've got to have rules and obey them. After all, we're not savages. We're English, and the English are best at everything. – Jack

We saw your smoke. And you don't know how many of you there are? – Naval Officer

I should have thought that a pack of British boys—you're all British, aren't you?—would have been able to put up a better show than that. – Naval Officer

That's the attractive thing about war; absolutely no one gets what they want.

He was going to the famous Dresden, an open city, a Florence on the Elbe, a city of museums and cows. He was going to be in a position to see the greatest massacre in European history.

Liberty, equality, fraternity, or death;—the last, much the easiest to bestow, O Guillotine!

It was the popular theme for jests; it was the best cure for headache, it infallibly prevented the hair from turning grey, it imparted a peculiar delicacy to the complexion, it was the National Razor which shaved close: who kissed La Guillotine, looked through the little window and sneezed into the sack.

Please don't let this be another one of my famous last words, but I feel... good.

You have a wonderful, terrible power, Max.

I come in peace.

Today, smoking is going to save lives. – Dwight Schrute

I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! – The Wicked Witch of the West

I don't know, but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they? – The Scarecrow

We are all honorable men here. We do not need to be assured we are honorable men. – Michael Corleone

The only way he could get any uglier is if he went back in time and married his mother. – Biff Tannen

I have a feeling you're going to see her very soon. – Dr. Emmett Brown

God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. – Dr. Ian Malcolm

Can we just have a moment of silence for the late, great Jurassic World? – Lowery Cruthers

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. – Private Joker

Today, is Christmas! There will be a magic show! – Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

I am so happy that I am alive, I am so happy that I am alive and in the world of shit. – Private Pyle

We are jolly green giants with guns. – Private Joker

Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs... – John McClane

You ask for miracles, Theo, I give you the F... B... I. – Hans Gruber

When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer. – Hans Gruber

I'm on vacation! – John McClane

Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. – The Oracle

One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness. – Ay, but it seems enough to condemn him. – Priest & Jack Sparrow

The day I get out of prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car. – Jake Blues

The lesson of history is that you do not know the lesson of history. – Isidor Isaac Rabi

Nothing about you is fake. You're real. That's what makes you so good to watch. – Marlon

I find it amusing. Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something. – Clairee Belcher

They say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire. I respectfully disagree. I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. – Tony Stark

You know, for a man who's supposed to be avoiding stress, you've picked a hell of a place to settle. – Tony Stark to Bruce Banner

Did you sleep well, Mr. Connors? – Mrs. Lancaster

We're all brainwashed into being servants! – Ken

You had a perfect life. And you threw it away for pizza. – Genesis