30 Best South Park Quotes

Oh my God, they killed Kenny! – Stan Marsh

You bastards! – Kenny McCormick

Screw you guys, I'm going home. – Eric Cartman

Respect my authoritah! – Eric Cartman

I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive. – Eric Cartman

You will respect my authoritah! – Eric Cartman

Whatever, I do what I want! – Eric Cartman

How do I rewind this? – Eric Cartman

I'm not fat, I'm big-boned! – Eric Cartman

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Let's not start suckin' each other's dicks quite yet. – Chef

There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college. – Chef

M'kay. – Mr. Mackey

Drugs are bad, m'kay? – Mr. Mackey

If you want to find some quality friends, you've got to wade through all the dicks first. – Eric Cartman

I learned something today... – Stan Marsh

The truth is, marijuana probably isn't going to make you kill people. It probably isn't going to fund terrorism. But, well, son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored. And it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. – Randy Marsh

Wow, this is pretty controversial. – Butters Stotch

I'm not a hippie, I'm a pacifist! – Stan Marsh

I'm scared, and I'm confused, and I think I wet myself. – Butters Stotch

I'm not having a glass of wine, I'm having six. It's called a tasting, and it's classy. – Randy Marsh

You know, I've learned that sometimes in life, you have to say, 'Screw the rules, I have money.' – Eric Cartman

Loo loo loo, I've got some apples. Loo loo loo, you've got some too. – Eric Cartman

I'm not a racist, I hate everyone equally. – Eric Cartman

I'm just a little boy. I'm scared, and I want my mommy. – Eric Cartman

Don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars. – Eric Cartman

The world is a cynical, duplicitous place, and I'm just a part of it. – Eric Cartman

I'm not a fan of books. They're all fact, no heart. – Eric Cartman

Well, then, maybe the lesson is, if you're going to build a million-dollar wall, you should probably make sure a fat kid can't knock it down with a giant mech. – Stan Marsh

I'm not a Republican or a Democrat. I'm just a guy who likes to get rich and have sex with ladies. – Randy Marsh

Sometimes you have to be willing to give up everything, even what you love most, to do what's right. – Kyle Broflovski